A Haiku Love Sonnet–
–Waiting for the End of Yesterday
sometimes we travel
deep into this naked night
and see yesterday
eager to reconstruct
bits of a fragmented dream
with lost dialogue
wait for fading light
to kiss the soft of angel
wings warmed by the day
not an easy job
turning the orange sky dark
not an easy job
rearranging the planets
hanging a blue moon
March 16, 2008 at 4:08 am
Wow, that’s a unique kind of poem! Well done!
March 16, 2008 at 5:14 am
hanging a blue moon
Excellent!
March 16, 2008 at 5:56 am
brilliant, really;
March 16, 2008 at 8:50 am
My favourite of yours…….no hang on, that’s, oh I can’t decide. WONDERFUL!
March 16, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Cendrine
Thanks for the kind words. Welcome!
March 16, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Rodger
My favorite line too==makes a cliche somewhat unique.
March 16, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Sumedth
A fellow blogger may have invented the style–it is fun to play with. The brilliance is not mine–just the words.
March 16, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Jo
Thanks
March 16, 2008 at 2:55 pm
I really like how each of the stanzas is self contained and also part of the whole. I think I would like it better if the last stanza was a whole haiku
March 16, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Since I write haiku, it was especially interesting to see the basic form transformed into another direction. I like this very much.
March 16, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Hit this one out of the park, Scot… I love it. I’ve never read anything quite like it.
March 16, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Bob
thanks–sometimes I can fall in the outhouse and come out smelling like a rose–dreary day down by the bootheel.
March 16, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Matt
I wondered about that too–but this form calls for 14 lines to be a sonnet–but when it has been invented from other forms–well heck. Thanks for the comment
March 16, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Pris
Thanks Pris–I may submit somewhere–any suggestions?
March 16, 2008 at 4:44 pm
beautiful imagery, interesting use of haiku
March 16, 2008 at 9:35 pm
Original thought, original imagery, beautiful texture, wonderful poem,
March 16, 2008 at 10:54 pm
Green Poet
March 17, 2008 at 1:31 am
Truly remarkable. I love the spin, the images, the color.
March 17, 2008 at 2:56 am
Paul
thanks for the comment
JO
just wandered out and fell on the paper
March 18, 2008 at 10:02 am
This is one of the most beautiful haiku I have ever read, Scot. And the fact that it’s a sonnet…well…I’m particular to those….Deep into the naked night reminds me of Dylan Thomas’s Do not go gentle into that good night. Mmm. Tell me. When will I start breathing again?
March 18, 2008 at 11:05 am
Ali
This just might be my favorite for now–it could be turned into a villanelle.
March 19, 2008 at 12:48 pm
I love the surreal undercurrent in this poem, and it’s interesting to see my form in another writer’s hands. It makes me wonder how much of writing is in form and how much in is the mind of the writer. Reading this, I’m favoring the latter. —D
March 19, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Thanks D
I think the form helped–no doubt, but I guess it is always what the writer does with it.
March 21, 2008 at 10:00 pm
(shivers) I love the moon…
April 19, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Stunning, Scot. Every word. Love the last 2 killer lines! And the photo - well, it’s gorgeous. Not easy finding one - once in a blue moon! heh heh I hope you don’t mind if I ask you if you write to the photo, or write, then try to find a photo to match? I love haiku, and I love Joe Felso, too; creator of the form, but I have to tell you - you’ve matched his caliber in all respects with your sonnet haiku. And not to change the subject
but I want to thank you for stopping by and leaving me such lovely words on my most recent ku. So very appreciated.
April 20, 2008 at 2:13 am
Janet
Thanks for the kind words–The poem always comes first…the other way around just doesn’t seem right. Thanks for stopping by, please do again.