Thirty-three 1/3

you say I should
go ahead
write
get it out so I may feel better
concentrate on positive things
release the negative
with ten thousand  
angels singing hosanna
as alter candles dance on
winter windows
it is getting it down that
matters—not out
the out does not silent
old songs or write
new ones
nor is it  some psycho
therapy exercise to
replace bad karma as we
discover
and forget
the seven truths of
whatever
but it is a chronicle
a stack of wax that plays
my song at 33 1/3
when the outside
dances digital
with little white
ear plugs
taking it in
blocking it
out.

Advertisements

17 Responses to Thirty-three 1/3

  1. veronicaromm says:

    I love it. Great poem. Vromm

  2. Paul says:

    spinning slowly poem, kind of whimsical documentation playing with histories,

  3. Voodoo says:

    Too discordant. Seems like it was spat out with no detail to form.

    The modernity plague, I think.

  4. Scot says:

    Voodoo
    It is the state of being modern–Ferlinghetti calls it counterfeit poetry–sorry it didn’t appeal to you–thanks for the ink, I think

  5. johemmant says:

    thanks for the ink I think,

    I want a teeshirt with that on, please.

    Great poem, the form is actually perfect for what you are communicating, but then you already know that, you’re a poet.

  6. Paul says:

    There is the voodoo again. I want one of those comments. How disappointing that there is no link with the ink,

  7. cattledog5 says:

    I think that it might could use being divided up into two stanzas

  8. Scot says:

    Matt
    I had it that way but when I pasted it it looked weird–some stanzas were small font etc.–but thanks it was intended to be three stanzas and is except here

  9. johemmant says:

    Scot do you paste it into code? I was having major problems with my pasting, having to reconfigure every single poem and I figured out only last week that it was cos I was pasting it into visual not code (in the write new post section)……….if I pop it in code it all holds good and this has saved me fiddling.

  10. Voodoo says:

    Johemmant, may I ask why is the form perfect for communicating what the author intends to communicate?

    I’ve been rudely brisk lately, so I’ll better say what the hell I mean to say (sorry, in the first place, and thanks for taking it in stride)

    I pay attention to the beginning of lines, and the end of lines especially. Perhaps this is too textbook, but it makes perfect sense to struggle over every aspect of a poem rather than let some parts lack. Ending in something driven: a resonant sound, a strong verb, something uniquely interesting… it cements the line. In this poem, I see so much that just makes me feel the author didn’t pay attention to the line breaks, but judging by the diction, the author is capable. But you know, “just isn’t my taste” also works perfectly well. Forgetting the format (which bothers me so because it does remind of a negative part of modern poetry, though I’m sure you’ll disagree) the poem itself is nice. Some parts are hard to grasp as specific images–and how they’re supposed to connect.

    Maybe the state of being modern is playing prey to an era of literature that may not end so well? Just a thought, look forward to reading more and actually not having to apologize for forgetting my manners.

  11. johemmant says:

    Primarily because emotion is communicated with the line breaks,
    and rhythm, but secondarily because he is a damn fine poet, published here and there, and knows what he is doing.

  12. Voodoo says:

    And visual aesthetics are sacrificed for rhythm? I was under the impression they enhanced each other.

    Johemmant, “published here and there” is like the sola scripture.

  13. johemmant says:

    Well to me poetry is designed to be read aloud, any poem I read aloud, even if it’s under my breath, so I get many strange looks on public transport 🙂 , but that is how you feel the rhythm, now of course, it needs writing down so that you can communicate intent and for posterity blah blah but rhythm is more important than aesthetics in my opinion………if I go to a poetry reading I cannot recreate the layout of the poem after hearing the poet, but I have fully experienced the piece (always assuming the poet is good at readings). But this is Scot’s blog and if you want to continue this discussion, it had better be elsewhere.

  14. johemmant says:

    Oh and Scot I meant no disrespect by here and there, I just didn’t have access to your resume (grin) and apologies for having this discussion here, please delete the comments if you like, I will not be offended.

  15. Scot says:

    That is perfectly ok. A good discussion is a good discussion–no problem with that.

  16. Voodoo says:

    Good points, Jo, but simple mathematics can tell you good visual aesthetics along with good sonic aesthetics will make a better, more effective poem than something that sounds good when read aloud by the poet who wrote it, and thus, retains whatever internal ideas they may or may not have ended up putting in the poem. This is hard to read aloud by someone who is going on what’s provided.

    Since Scot is a poet (I wonder what those people who write and study poetry but happen not to make money are called, jeez, I must be a goat nut) and Jo is a poet, I’ll stop.

    Enjoyed your haiku, too, Scot.

  17. alison says:

    Scot –I’m sorry I have no comment on form or meaning, perhaps I should forgo leaving a comment altogether…but this is real. It’s a scene from my life, from yours. Maybe from everyone’s. I see it in so many backgrounds — I have turned up my ipod louder than it should ever be and it’s never enough to write it down — temporarily I feel the breeze of relief when I see it there…outside of myself, my mind…but it will never be out. It will never be replaced by something lighter or darker than it is. Maybe I’m reading your poetry too late 😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: