American Sentence #6

Carving Santa Claus out of cedar like I was Pinocchio’s dad.

Advertisements

4 Responses to American Sentence #6

  1. I don’t often edit master craftsmen, Scot, but I think this would’ve been better as:

    Carving Santa Claus out of cedar like I was Geppetto.

  2. Scot says:

    17 syllables? But you right–was not the best one for sure

  3. It was fine. To me, though, “Pinocchio’s Dad” was a trifle clumsy, just didn’t flow as smooth as the others.

    I’ll go back to my corner now.

  4. Scot says:

    You are correct–was clumsy–not offended a bit. How about #7

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: